*Question: Why did the chicken cross the Möbius Strip? *

*Answer: To get to the other... um... er... *

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An engineer and a mathematician have to build a fence around a flock of sheep, using as little material as possible.

The engineer herds the flock into a circular shape and constructs a fence around it.

The mathematician thinks for a while, then builds a fence around himself and defines himself as being outside.

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In some foreign country a priest, a lawyer and an engineer are about to be guillotined.

The
priest puts his head on the block, they pull the rope and nothing
happens -- he declares that he's been saved by divine intervention --
so he's let go.

The
lawyer is put on the block, and again the rope doesn't release the
blade, he claims he can't be executed twice for the same crime and he
is set free too.

They
grab the engineer and shove his head into the guillotine, he looks up
at the release mechanism and says, "Wait a minute, I see your
problem..."

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Answering machine message: "The number you have dialed is imaginary. Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and try again."

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Theorem: All horses have an infinite number of legs.

Proof
(by intimidation): Everyone would agree that all horses have an even
number of legs. It is also well-known that horses have forelegs in
front and two legs in back. 4+2=6 legs, which is certainly an odd
number of legs for a horse to have! Now the only number that is both
even and odd is infinity; therefore all horses have an infinite number
of legs.

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* *

*97.3% of all statistics are just made up. *

*Cartoon Laws of Physics** ** Looney Toons meets Einstein*

**A physics scientist's suggestions for truth in advertising**